Monday, November 25, 2002

Age-Related Angst
Some recent comments Matt made in Retro Rocket got my wheels spinning:

when i was a bit younger, and before i settled upon the law as a career, i used to get mildly bummed out about the direction my life had taken when seeing much younger guys playing professional baseball and football and so on. what must it be like to have such motivation, such talent, such a paycheck, i thought. i got over those feelings a while ago, right around the same time i realized i was too old to be a 'real world' cast member.

now comes the hiring of the boston red sox new twenty-eight year old general manager. are you kidding me? twenty-eight and running a baseball team? and yale law grad, no less. shoot me now.

Having had a bit of a mid-midlife crisis earlier this year, similar thoughts have loomed large in my life of late. Nearing the big 3-0, I realized that I was no longer the surprisingly young man who'd done -- and was doing -- a surprising amount of surprisingly interesting and arguably important stuff. It was now an assumption that I'd be doing stuff similar to what I'm doing. Or at least doing something. Oh, I was no protege, don't get me wrong, but I missed having the age cachet in my, how you say, bag of tricks.

Every so often, I like to think that I'm past that -- and that even though there are notable holes in my life... holes people much younger than me have already filled... I'm still in a pretty good place for 29. I'm far from adult. I'm far from settled. But at least I'm not a Yale law graduate or general manager of a baseball team. And my age still surprises some people. Perhaps I'll miss getting carded when people stop carding me.

Because that seems to start happening again every time I shave my head.

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