Using Your Head
A 73-year-old woman got stuck in a newspaper coin-op distribution box outside of an Illinois Wal-Mart. She put some coins in the slot, reached in to get her paper, and the next thing she knew, the door slammed shut, catching on the hood of her coat and trapping her.

Initially, a Wal-Mart employee refused to free her, saying that they couldn't give discounts or tamper with the box. After 20 minutes in the cold, store staff finally agreed to release her, popping two quarters in the slot and grumbling that she just didn't want to pay for the paper herself.

For her troubles, the woman got a gift certificate and letter of apology from the Wal-Mart manager... and a free month's subscription to the paper.

Beware misleadingly humble newspaper honor boxes. They're organizing, and they're out to get us.