Friday, March 31, 2006

FC Book Review

Check it out.

Horses and Hotdogs

The first book in my McSweeney's subscription arrived a week or so ago: Yannick Murphy's Here They Come. With very little idea of what the book was about, much less who the author is, I read the novel -- the writer's third book -- in the last two days. It's excellent.

I encourage you to read a book you know nothing about -- or by an author you know nothing about -- soon. It's a different reading experience entirely, and you bring a different self to the read. You don't give a book more -- or less -- because you "like" the author. And that's refreshing.

I still know nothing about Murphy, so I can write about the book without context. Ostensibly set in the New York City of the '70s, this novel involves the story of a teenage girl and her family as they try to negotiate the ins and outs of poverty and a broken home. In some ways, it reminds me of Joseph Torchia's Kryptonite Kid, one of my favorite books ever, as the lead character discovers herself while searching for her father and coping with the travails of her life.

Until the heroine's father goes missing, there's little direction in the novel, but once that vector is established, purpose is solidified -- even though it doesn't take over the narrative. Even the end papers don't make sense until the very last chapters -- while the cover imagery makes sense and is continually established throughout the book.

Here They Come is an excellent New York book. There's a lot of place in it. The details -- frozen water in the toilet, accumulated garbage bags, sleeping on the fire escape -- are quite nice. And the portrayal of the "countryside" of Long Island is intriguing.

Next up: Javier Morales' Voyage Along the Horizon, which just hit the streets on the 28th. Thank you, McSweeney's!

The Reader Is Encouraged

Another pulp mystery from the big box, Carter Dickson's 1939 novel The Reader Is Warned might establish Dickson -- who also wrote under the pen name John Dickson Carr -- as my new favorite vintage thriller fiction author. A classic dark house murder mystery, the book involves a supposed psychic who predicts that a stodgy patron will die at a certain time. He does.

What ensues is a double mystery. Is the psychic truly psychic? Who killed the patron, if anyone? The reader is treated to the sleuth character Sir Henry Merrivale, who might also be my new favorite mystery hero. I also enjoyed how the various law officials interacted, the surprising revelation of who the killer is, the voodoo-like Bantu elements, the various romantic relationships that were revealed, and Dickson's other mechinations.

Be sure to seek out the work of Dickson. He was a talent. A total talent.

Clock Stopper

One of my best Ebay purchases has been a lot of vintage paperback books, primarily mystery novels. Among that lot was this title, George Harmon Coxe's 1957 novel One Minute Past Eight. It was a gripping read. A missing heir's brother goes on the hunt to Venezuela and becomes embroiled in a crime of passion involving several suspects.

Coxe penned more than 60 novels in his 80-plus year life, and this work falls roughly in the middle of his career. It's a classic hardboiled thriller. The foreign locale. The femme fatale. The love-inspired murder. The hard-edged law officials. The newspaper reporter of ill report. The Felix Leiter-like sidekick. Gambling debts. Affairs. A bounty hunter. The whole shebang.

It's been several weeks since I read this, so I fear I'm unable to share much more, but know this: Coxe is worth seeking out and reading. Excellent.

50 Verses

I'm a big believer in the value of buying books, used or new. And I'm a consummate impulse book buyer. In fact, I have to rein myself in, I buy so many books with little or no provocation. But when it comes to poetry books, I drop the reins. I think that one cannot buy too many books of poetry -- and that buying them is in fact a form of public service. So when my friend in Austin -- Amy -- mentioned that she was particularly fond of the poet Billy Collins, our poet laureate from 2001-2003, and pointed out the poem "Litany" in the collection Nine Horses, I snapped up the collection with all due haste.

Collins is a wonderful poet, one who uses simple words and simple images to communicate complex emotions and ideas. His work lacks pretension and is extremely human -- and humane. Of the 50 poems collected in this paperback, I am particularly fond of "Aimless Love," "Litany," and "No Time." While he works in everyday references to the culture of his time and life -- the book inspired this blog entry, which was taken from my notes in the back of the book -- his poems don't feel overly current and may very well be timeless.

What strikes me in my favorite poems? Collins' love of the basic and simple -- the things we see every day but might not recognize or elevate otherwise -- and his consideration of the lines between life and death. He also offers several verses about poetry, writing, and the writing life -- without becoming heavy handed or overly romantic about the use of words.

If you haven't read Collins before, start with "Litany." It's an amazing read. And if you aren't familiar with our current poet laureate -- Ted Kooser -- get thee to a bookstore, perhaps the recently bought Grolier Poetry Book Shope in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and drop some dime.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Do-It-Yours(h)elf Art

Got an interesting email from the curator of Maiden, Brooklyn, today:

Beginning on April 1st, we are turning the front room of our space at 252 Grand Street into an old school bodega.

As part of his on going Shopdropping project, artist Ryan Watkins-Hughes curates an open call exhibition of art placed on store-bought cans of victuals. Coming out of the tradition that is part a guerilla street art, part a culture jam, the Shopdropping places stimulating visuals in unexpected places. By covertly sneaking into grocery stores and supermarkets and replacing merchandise with altered soup cans, Ryan anonymously activates the visual space usually taken over by corporate branding.

For the show at Maiden, Ryan asked over 40 artists to contribute their art. After placing the submissions on standard 8oz cans, he will display them, NY Deli style, on narrow racks lining the walls of the store. Also, through the cooperation of the Grand Street storeowners, the project will continue in several spaces along the street. The visitors to Maiden, Brooklyn will be provided with a detailed map of the neighborhood spots where the cans can be found, dispatching them on an appropriately timed Easter Egg hunt, but for cans. Hilarity will ensue.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

New Record Day II

Here's what's coming out this week that I think is notable:

  • The Dresden Dolls, "Sing" single
  • Morrissey, "You Have Killed Me" EP

What records are you going to pick up this week?

Update: This is what I bought.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Tales About Places

Share some stories about where you live. (Consumating login required.)

This is an experiment in cross-pollination.

Greenpoint of View II

Media Dietician Phil just emailed me the following photo, which he found on Gothamist:

To each their own opinions, I suppose.

Movies and Mashups

This is pretty darn cool.

[Thanks, Justin!]

Subscription Prescription

I love the idea of subscribing to books and records. If a publishing company or label is small and smart enough, chances are good you'll appreciate most everything they put out. That's why I subscribe to RE/Search (informally) and McSweeney's (formally, through their Book Release Club).

So I was pleased as punch to learn that Soft Skull Press is launching a subscription service. Kicking off with their poetry line, Soft Skull now offers an annual subscription that will include eight books for $50.

I've placed an order and encourage you to do the same. Support the small press. And support the idea of book subscriptions!

Newsletters of Note XI

Do you like digital photography? Do you like crafty projects like those featured in Make and ReadyMade?

Then check out Photojojo. This new semiweekly newsletter will teach you how to "turn a photo into a mural at home in 5 minutes, print your friends' faces onto cupcakes, or get a bottlecap that turns any soda bottle into a tripod."

Can't wait to see the first edition!

Photographic Palate

Just learned about an interesting collaborative photography project that might be of interest: Oral Pixation.

this is a global internet event, an online flashmob. for 24 hours, on 1 april 2006, we want you to take a picture of everything you put in your mouth. we do not care what goes in, just take a picture. we know you kids are good and will keep things decent. ;)

Reminds me of the awesome book Everything I Ate: A Year in the Life of My Mouth.

I just might participate! So far today, I've eaten a Slim Jim, a piece of cheese, some fruit gummis, a packet of peanuts, and coffee. Not very healthy, eh?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Airport of Call II

I'm posting this from ATL because I can. I don't usually have stopovers long enough to warrant dropping dime on airport wifi, but this trip, it's been a useful way to work in between the cracks.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Blast from the Past

While in the children's section of a Barnes & Noble this afternoon, I saw a display rack full of Choose Your Own Adventure books. Turns out that R.A. Montgomery, who spearheaded the original series in the early '80s, has rejuvenated the line, releasing 18 reworked editions through a special partnership with B&N.

The original titles are being republished, with updated edits and new cover and interior artwork. While I kind of wish that they'd retained the original look and feel of the books inside and out, I am glad that they kept the same basic cover design and top-of-cover logo. Tonight, I'll be settling in with The Abominable Snowman, originally published in 1982.

The series is clearly designed to cross-sell to a new generation of readers: The covers of the next 16 titles in the series are reproduced in the back of this first book.

Magazine Me LVIII

Flipping through the March 2006 edition of Go, AirTran's inflight magazine, I was struck by a couple of ads.

Not only does CNN now publish a magazine titled CNN Traveller, but there's also a CNBC-branded business magazine, CNBC European Business.

While ESPN and Nickelodeon have both stepped into the magazine publishing world to good effect, I'm not sure how I feel about these two new (to me) titles. When I think CNN, I think news, not travel. And when I think CNBC, I might think business -- but not necessarily Europe.

Do any Media Dieticians have the inside scoop on these mags? Has anyone actually read them?

Airport of Call

I'm posting this from LGA because I can. $8 day pass for wifi. As a friend said, I'll sleep on the plane.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I Heart the Internet

I went on my first Internet "date" tonight, courtesy of a new friend met via Consumating. She was indeed a "hot nerdy girl," as promised by said site.

"Hot" also describes our meeting place, Belly on the Lower East Side, and its bartender, who womanned the music mix via her apologetically hip hop-free iPod. (Nice work on the skipping of songs. More people should fade out and in rather than just hitting forward!)

This isn't to annouce that I am "out there." I am _so not_. But if any Media Dieticians would like to meet me, I'm not hard to find. I hope to meet you some day.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Movie-ing In

Word is that a Mandy Moore movie is shooting in Williamsburg this week. Is it for Dedication? Who knows.

Tuesday night, North Seventh Street was largely cordoned off by white vans and emergency cones, with cables running into an apartment building about halfway between Bedford and Driggs.

A patron at the Abbey reports that the crew will be shooting there tomorrow (Wednesday, March 22) at 8 a.m. -- that's less than eight hours from now -- and that Mandy's "drinking again."

Important info for the bartender, whomever she is, I'm sure.

File Under: Stawker

Possible NYC celeb sighting: Richard Dreyfuss, "Jim," at Jack Russell's around 9:30 p.m.

Quoth my friend Rick:

I have to say that I'm always skeptical about celebrity sightings, but
'twas certainly him or his twin. And, his height if 5'5" - spot on.

We could have misheard "Rich" for "Jim." Do any Media Dieticians have the scoop? (A la, is he in town? Does he have a different given name?)

Blogging About Blogging LXXXI

Squidoo has organized a lensmaster challenge to help recognize and celebrate Boing Boing, the "directory of wonderful things." If folks make a lens about Boing Boing -- the best entries, links, and ideas -- by the end of April, they may receive presents.

Help spread word, if you see fit! (And consider making a Boing Boing lens. Seven years is a long time!)

Fine China

I absolutely love it that the title of the Chinese version of "American Idol" translates as "The Mongolian Cow Sour Yogurt Supergirl Contest." That's mighty fine.

I do not love it, however, that censors are working to rein in the competition, which attracted 400 million Chinese viewers last year alone. The regulators should be fined.

Monday, March 20, 2006

New Record Day

I don't recognize the weekly new release schedule like I used to several years ago -- by going to the record store and dropping dime -- but I do like to pay attention to what's new, now. Here's what's coming out tomorrow that I think is notable:

  • Animal Collective, "Grass"
  • Anti-Flag, "For Blood and Empire"
  • Cannibal Corpse, "Kill"
  • Essex Green, "Cannibal Sea"
  • Lifetime, "Somewhere in the Swamps of Jersey"
  • Quasi, "When the Going Gets Dark"
  • Sonny Rollins, "Saxophone Colossue" (reissue)

What records are you going to pick up this week?

Update: The album in bold above is the one record I let myself buy.

From the In Box: Short (Story) Term Memory

Can anyone help this Media Dietician out?

trying to think of a short story I once read. Perhaps you might know of it or the author?

the basic premise is that this old guy is at a dinner honoring this officer who is about to be elevated in rank. He tells the fellow next to him, though, that the officer is completely undeserving of his accolades. He [the old guy] goes on the relate how the officer won his first recognition on the battlefield not because of exceptional strategery (as everyone else thinks) but because he messed up which was was left and which way was right and led his troops in the wrong direction.

Anyway, he [the old guy] goes on with other similar stories about the officer proving how completely unfair the honors are.

Does this story ring any bells?

If you have any ideas, let me know, and I'll pass on word. Thanks in advance!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

People I Want to Learn About

Games People Play XVII

You can spend your time watching television. You can spend your time playing video games. Or you can spend your time watching television about playing video games.

X-Play's co-host Morgan Webb might very well be my new favorite newsbabe.

Big Brother Is Watching XXII

While watching a "making of the video" kind of show on Green Day's video Boulevard of Broken Dreams on Fuse, a couple of friends and I discussed the legality of director Samuel Bayer's use of footage of people walking down the street shot from a moving vehicle without the people's knowledge. Jamey wondered whether he needed to get their permission to use their images, and I speculated that he hadn't because it was shot in a public space.

Turns out it's not that cut and dried. In fact, in an email transmitted over Dave Farber's IP list, I learned about a recent court case involving a photographer who took pictures of people walking through Times Square. A New York State Supreme Court judge ruled that the work's artistic merit overweighed a subject's right to privacy, even though the photographer made money off the work.

Despite this entry's headline, which could imply that I think such photograhy is intrusive, I think this is a great finding -- especially because I'm a big fan of street photography.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Newspaper Chase XIV

When I first moved to New York City, I made a point of reading every local newspaper. While I've only maintained a daily subscription to the New York Times and recently canceled my Sunday Daily News sub, I continue to receive the Greenpoint Star every week -- for free.

I first received a free sub to the Star for identifying some Greenpoint graffiti as part of a weekly contest. It was supposed to last six months, but even though my mailing label indicates that my sub ends Dec. 31, 2004 -- !!! -- the paper keeps coming. And I keep reading.

Several things about the Star intrigue me. I love the Eyesore of the Week photography feature, which highlights examples of urban blight. I get a kick out of the relatively new Christa Cuts column, which introduces a much-needed sense of youth interest to the paper. I quite enjoy the Back in the Day feature, which regularly highlights local history. And little details -- like the headlines in the letter column -- occasionally amuse.

In the March 16, 2006, edition is a new detail that made me grin. On the front page, there's a six-column-inch squib headed "Choose Your Own D.A. Hynes Adventure #1." Basically a promo box for two inside features, the squib is written in the style of the classic Choose Your Own Adventure books.

I don't know who's responsible for these things editorially, but keep it up. There's not a lot in the paper, and the little details make a difference.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Televisionary IV

I'm staying up too late tonight (early this morning?) to have a little TV party.

Earlier this evening, I watched Infernal Affairs on DVD, and then just before turning off the set to head to bed, I noticed that I had the new episodes of Dr. Who queued up on the DVR. So I'm now watching them.

Caitlyn Martin's got the best writeup online I've seen, and the New York Times review is worth reading.

All in all, even though we're getting these episodes a year behind British fans, the show has a lot of promise. Christopher Eccleston makes a good doctor, the show's makers kept enough of the Tom Baker-era sound design and title sequence that the show inspires a new nostalgia, and the special effects are clunky enough that the program has endearing awkwardness.

But, would they really play Britney Spears's "Toxic" 10 minutes before Earth death?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Small Town Stories

Mike Williams has launched a blog dedicated to tales about life in small towns. If you'd like to offer up a slice-of-life story, email him, and he'll consider including it. Sounds like a worthy project!

Magazine Mishap?

I just got a promotional mailing from the MilitaryTimes Media Group, and apparently, I "qualify for a Professional Discount to Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marine Corps Times." I've never served in the military, much less expressed any interest in the military. So how could I possibly qualify for a sub discount?

My deeper question is this, however: Why are these magazines trying to boost civilian circulation? My guess is that these titles are primarily controlled circulation pubs, much like trade and association magazines. Wouldn't adding me to the list dilute that qualified circ?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

SXSW 2006

This evening, I got home from SXSW in Austin. While I didn't confblog the event like I have in past years, I did make a number of Squidoo lenses about the major sessions I sat in on. Here they are:

I still need to process how I feel about this year's gathering, especially given Bruce Sterling's talk at the end, but long story short, I didn't eat the Tex-Mex food I usually revel in, I didn't meet a key Squidoo lensmaster, I did get to hang out with some key friends in the area, and I did learn a lot. As always, SXSW helps me recalibrate myself; I just need to determine how.

Question of the Day

More often than not, I carry little slips of blue paper in my pocket to make notes about things that interest me throughout the day. I then go through my pockets at the end of the day, organizing the slips and taking action, if needed.

Tonight, there's a slip of blue paper in my pocket with two words written on it:

"What's changed?"

I don't remember what triggered the question, but it begs answering. So I turn to you, my Media Dieticians.

What's changed?

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Man Clam Chow

In the years that Rapcrap was "active," there was an actual funk band in Madison called Man Clam Chow. Band members included Grant Samuelson, whom I've never met. I'm guessing that I saw them play while attending band camp. This piece was written for them, I'm sure.

I went to this club just the other night
I felt like dancin' and the girls were alright
So I went with the flow didn't put up a fight

The amps were maxed the pulse was pumpin'
And all the people in the pit were really jumpin'
The band on the stage was really funkin'

The Cattleprod show was not all ages
And I couldn't find the New Loft in the yellow pages
(For Inspector 12 I didn't have the wages)

Testing testing... Man Clam Chow
Testing testing... Show us how
Testing testing... Show us how

Cattleprod remains one of my favorite bands from the late '80s in Wisconsin. And the New Loft was-is a real venue. Inspector 12 shows were relatively affordable, and Jason and I interviewed them in an issue of our zine Blow -- which in turn earned us a thank you in one of their 7-inches.

Mmm, Wisconsin rocks.

Old School Rap VIII

When I started this series of Rapcrap archival posts, I had no idea that there was so much material. The group only performed once, and we rarely got together. Yet it seems that Steve, Brian, John, and I wrote quite a lot. This is titled "Break Things (Not an Island)."

I don't know what it is but I just wig out
I'll break your things before you know what I'm about
Stay away from me if you can manage
Or your personal items may suffer damage

Now I'm not hyperactive or really violent
But every man is not an island
-- Break things

The moon is in the window -- can't you see
I wonder what the punishment will be
Will they ultimately send me home
Or ground me to my room and take away the phone

My principal's principles are different than mine
And the counselors tell me that I'm gettin' outta line
I try real hard but I just can't help it
My break things habit is just the pits

Now I'm not hyperactive or really violent
But every man is not an island
-- Break things

Old School Rap VII

More Rapcrap, also untitled.

Everybody may wonder
When it's coming down
Everybody may blunder
When their turn comes 'round
But we cannot afford
To dwell on the past
For the future's calling
And our lives go fast

Stop and smell the roses
Scratch and sniff the world
Fly your flag unfurled

Walk around the block or
Stoop to sniff a flower
Think and take stock of
What is in your power

Third World Rap

This is a gem. Not only was I involved in a fake hip-hop "act" called Rapcrap, it appears that when I was in ninth grade -- 1988 -- I presented a class project with Casey S., Jenny N., and Heather M. for a social studies class taught by Mr. Looze. That project? The Third World Rap. Witness our political insights and sensitivity.

They call us the Third World
We don't have much wealth
We have many people
In terrible health

Developed am I
I have lots of money
Their situation is bad
It is not funny (oh no)

We asked them to help us
They surely agreed
They gladly would help
A country in need

I gave up some money
It really was tough
And now they're complaining
It wasn't enough

Our people are starving
They need to eat
But their aid has not helped us
Stand on our own feet

I gave you some money
That's all I can do
I've done all I can
It's now up to you

We're in a depression
That will not pass
But all you will do
Is sit on your butt

I gave you the food
What more do you need?
I'd build you some factories
But would they succeed?

OK, build us the factories
What good will they do?
We don't have the knowledge
To run them like you

The problems we face
Are might confusing
The worst part about it
Is that we're all losing

Ah, yes, the tried and true conclusion that challenges are... complex.

Old School Rap VI

More from Rapcrap, again untitled.

Yo blood! Hip hop... you know it's hype
When Heath 'n' I are rockin' at the [mic]!
And Beatbox Bri scratchin' at the table...
Not only are we willing, we are able!

OK, we only have a coupla minutes
For our tale (the one we're gonna spin ya...)
Now it may be fact and it may be fiction
Any questions must wait 'til the end of our diction

There we were walkin'... down the street
When I saw a pretty lady I'd like to meet
I said... yo Stevie... bum rush the show!
Let's snag ourselves a babe that is primo!

Oh... I don't know... what if she's taken?
We can always say that we were fakin'...
What if her bro is really strong?
If she's free we can't go wrong

So we started headin' across the street
To talk to the girl Heath wanted to meet
An' just as we were gettin' closer
Around the corner steps this big bruiser...

So she runs up to him all smiles and crap
He picked her up... she put her hand into his [lap]
How could she go for that neanderthal?
My hopes had risen, now they did fall...

There must be a moral to our story
If you don't take chances... your life's gonna be boring
If an opportunity presents itself to you
Go for it! Don't waste the time and argue

One more thing before we quit...
We're called Rapcrap and this is it...

This one is sheer bravado. For example, we had no "table" to scratch upon. I'm also not sure why I replaced the word "pants" with "lap," but it seems somewhat more tame. And when you're trafficking in borderline embarassing -- OK, embarassing -- past writing like this, every little bit of distance helps. And for the record, for every instance of the word "mic," I did indeed write "mike."

Old School Rap V

Another untitled Rapcrap wonderment:

Sittin' in the library... makin' up a rhyme
Thinkin' up raps just to pass away the time.
Sittin' at the table with a pencil in my hand
Gettin' dirty looks from the... big man.

Now we're really movin' -- my pencil lead is meltin'
Don't laugh at us, or your face we will be beltin'
Our aim is now perfection -- we don't need to erase
Criticize our work and we'll puncture your face

We've got a special guest and his name is Bob
He always listens to us 'cause he wants to rob
Our work because he knows we're cool
An' we make all the other bogus rappers drool

We put down a line
An' then we write down another
We're always together
'Cause we're just like brothers

We can't stay home, we still go to school
We'd rather be at Arcadia just playin' some pool
We listen to our music there, really loud
We're good looking; we always draw a crowd

This was indeed written in pencil. I wrote the bulk of it, but the last stanza was contributed by Steve, I believe (the handwriting from previous samples matches). Arcadia was one of the arcades we'd frequent, but few crowds were ever attracted by our inarguable good looks, much less mad pool skills.

Old School Rap IV

More Rapcrap, this time an untitled ditty. Warning: This one is more puerile than previous offerings and is offered for historical interest only. (Remember that this was written in 1989 or so when I was 16. That's a long time ago.) Note: The handwritten draft was annotated by Steve to indicate where lines would be traded; these annotations have not been included.

Steve and I were bummin' out in speech class
Tryin' to decide how we were gonna pass
Mr. Schubert just called us gregarious
Which means our situation is now precarious
Writing out raps or drawing out war scenes
The time flies by until the school bell rings

Karen L***** is Bobby G.'s main squeeze
He can ***** her ear whenever he does please
He has "I [heart] Karen" all over his folder
All he wants her to do is die under a falling boulder
Because she's a real wench... all of the time
'Cause drugs and booze have scragged her mind

Heath asked me to write two more lines
So I'll say to you he likes Dawn V****


We are hot and we're really movin'
But as Brian would say, "We're really groovin'"

I admit to cutting about nine lines because they were too embarassing. I don't need to air all of my near-literate dirty laundry.

Old School Rap III

It's Monday, and that means it's time for more writing from the archives. Here are some additional long-lost lyrics from my high-school hip-hop "act," Rapcrap. Without further ado: "Just Say No."

Now here's homeboy John
Who's bringin' you the beat
That, to yer virgin ears
Sounds, oh so sweet

That was my bro Brian
You know I'm not lyin'
He's so hot tonight
That the floor is French-fryin'

And now I'm stutterin' Steve
Talkin' to the [mic]
We'll rock you like the rock
That winds you up so tight

Now we're here tonight to get across a message
That is the purpose of this session
We don't do drugs and we don't do drink
Before you do you better stop and think

Drugs mess you up so bad, they don't do any good
You'll be the only loser in your neighborhood
We don't mean to preach don't have anything to show
But like Ronnie's spouse sas -- Just Say No

Nobody can make you do what you don't wanna
So if they start pushin' crack or marijuana
An' they call themselves friends, you better think again
'Cause hypocrisy is a bitter sin

Pretendin' to be what you can't be
That, my friends, is called hypocrisy
If a so-called friend is doggin' doggin' you
He's not your friend his friendship isn't true

Peer pressure? No that's not it
It's just an excuse to be a hypocrite
If you never have -- you won't
If you don't want to -- don't
All of this whining just makes me sick

Now we're underage -- sophomores to be exact
And it's all the rage -- to get totally whacked
Just pass it by -- hold yourself back
Turn the page -- now you're on the right track

Now you've heard this before
But I'll tell you again
We're [four] white guys with soul
And this is the end

Caucasian straight-edge hip hop, circa 1989!