Tuesday, August 31, 2004

On the Vote Boat!

I read Daily Candy almost every day, and almost every day I get mad at myself. It's not written for me, I never act on anything they run, and I'm not sure I'd like the people who do, but there we go. Until today's item:

If you've never voted, you're missing out on one of life's great pleasures.

No, not the satisfaction of performing your civic duty. Or the sense of solidarity with your fellow voters. Or the continuity with our nation's roots in freedom, democracy, and self-determination.

We're talking about the smug feeling of self-congratulatory superiority you get from wearing that little "I voted" sticker on your lapel all day.

Hey, Mr. Goateed Coffeehouse Loiterer: I voted. You know it, Mr. Angry Supervisor at Work: I voted. Read 'em and weep, Ms. Waitress Taking My Lunch Order: I voted. Say it, don't spray it, Mr. Toll-Booth Guy: I voted.

Yeah, check me out, honey: I voted.

Because if you don't, you can't lord it over people.

And that's just plain un-American.

Snark aside, I haven't laughed so loudly at the InterWeb since, well, since Suck. Remember Suck? Mmm, Suck. Little surprise Joey Anuff landed at VH-1.

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