I Was a Teenage Poet IV

I wrote this on March 21, also assuming the same year as a previous poem. Every other paragraph, beginning with the second, was indented in the original handwritten manuscript. Capitalization is as it was.

For those who would rather think
than be amused
Don't let yourself become a tool
A life that others used

I always felt like I was giving
more than just my share
I always felt like I was living
another's life unfair
Two times the sorrow
times twice the pain
Had a debilitating effect
The me I thought that I had known
was suddenly wrecked

So I crawled back into my shell
My little self-locked closet
And nailed a board across the slot
through which she made deposits
You say I'm cold... OK
You say I'm hard... Fine
You say that I am closed to love
The decision made was made.

I opened up to her
more than I ever had
When once was numb
And numb no more
But angry, confused, sad