Dennis Woodruff at the Post Office

Dennis Woodruff is a Hollywood icon of sorts. For the last few decades, he's been making homemade movies about himself and the Hollywood experience -- as well as his search for Hollywood experience. At first they were available on VHS -- I have a thrift store copy of Double Feature -- and now they're on DVD-R.

He sells them out of his art cars, and he'll sell them to you if he meets you on the street. A friend reports that he spends much of his time chatting up pretty girls and overdressed men in Hollywood cafes. Apparently, he also goes to the post office.

Here's what my wife learned about Woodruff while she stood in line ahead of him:

1. He'd like to meet Eddie Murphy.
2. He thinks black men might know Eddie Murphy and isn't too shy to ask them if that's the case. ("Ask for an introduction," he says.)
3. He's impatient. (He said, "If this line doesn't move any faster, I'm going to blow up this place."
4. He writes his URL on his bills when he pays them through the mail.
5. He considers talking to people in public being an entertainer.
6. He doesn't like to waste money on Express Mail and doesn't think you should either.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dennis Woodruff.